Growing up in my generation was like navigating a maze of unspoken rules and deafening silence. Children were expected to be a mysterious hybrid of wallflowers and mind readers—to be seen, but heavens forbid they made a peep! If you dared question your parents, brace yourself for the thunderous roar of "Because I said so" echoing through the house, ending all debates faster than you could say, "But why?"
The "Because I Said So" Era
Let's travel back to an era when parents held the all-powerful "Because I said so" card up their sleeves, ready to play it at a moment's notice. This handy phrase was the ultimate conversation stopper, shrouded in mystery and authority. It left us mere children wondering if it held the universe's secrets or was just a parental default setting.
And if you decide to probe further into the abyss of parental reasoning by some stroke of courage or foolishness, be prepared for the looming threat of a facepalm. The unwritten rule of the land was that parents had all the answers and questioning them was as difficult as entering a lion's den armed only with a feather duster.
The Evolution of Communication
Fast forward to today, and oh, how the times have changed! Children now have a voice louder than a toddler in a toy store, and parents are needing to learn the art of two-way communication like never before. The once-taboo act of questioning authority has transformed into a dance of displaced dialogue. If there is no mutual respect, where both parties sit at the discussion table, it becomes a battleground that cuts communication entirely off. This alone can have grave results, as we see in the news too often. Being unaware of what your child is thinking or doing, scrolling through their cell phone, or meeting up with them can sadly result in devastating losses.
Children desire to be heard, or at the very least acknowledged. Our busy society and social media has created a breeding ground for silence. No longer is audible communication practiced as much. It is vital to invite your child to join the symphony of conversation, sharing their thoughts, feelings, and perspectives without the fear of a verbal slap on the wrist. If we want our children to grow up to be good communicators or leaders in our country, it starts with communication skills. Nothing changes if a person cannot or, at the very least, express what they need or live in fear of retaliation for speaking up. In our evolving world, we need game changers, bold voices willing to speak up for those who cannot. We must teach our children to be good listeners; otherwise, they will learn nothing. We need to lead by example. We have to become better listeners. And in doing so, more often than not.... much is said in the silence.
What is your child's silence screaming? Are they quietly shouting... "Do you hear me?
Embracing the New Normal
We need to bring value to being heard and respected back. We can bridge the gap between generations of understanding by simply listening...and, yes, with the occasional eye roll.
So, next time you find yourself in a conversation with your child or teen, remember to listen, put your cell phone down, don't interrupt, and don't try to solve their problem.... listen, and ask questions about how they are feeling.... learn to laugh together. The echoes of "Because I said so" may linger in the distance, but they remind us how we felt when we simply didn't understand. We wanted answers. We felt cut off, disregarded, and taught that our questions or feelings didn't matter. We grew up reflecting this same behavior. Now, here we are as adults who don't know how to listen or communicate in a healthy way. Let's break the vow of silence and bring communication to the table. Being heard is a game changer. Non-verbal communication can lead to mood swings and poor communication. A person unable to express themselves may also lack the compassion and comprehension to acknowledge other people’s feelings. These children will one day be our future Presidents, Mayors, City Council, Justice of the Peace, etc., we need them to have communication skills, we want them to have compassion and have the capacity to acknowledge other people's feelings. It starts at home. The most influential player in a child's life is their parent. Do you hear them?
In conclusion, let's embrace the beauty of communication, the joy of laughter, and the power of being heard. After all, in a world filled with noise, sometimes the sweetest sound is the one that says, "I hear you loud and clear."
Brenda Graff
Wellness Life Coach
コメント